It was just yesterday...

In our profile, I put that we were married March 5, 1983. Then I mentioned that is was so long ago. Naturally, that was said (written) "tongue-in-cheek" because it really seems like yesterday we were planning our wedding.

Then three years after we were married, we had our first little girl, Rachel Amber Raymond, on May 23, 1986.

She was a perfectly charming baby. She was also one of the few babies my dad got to spend time with before he died. It does give me great joy that along with Shaun and Haley, Rachel was spoiled by her Dunkle. He once sat in the corner with her when Gary had put her there for punishment. Gary lost that one.

I will never forget Gary describing to her one day how she stole his heart. She had just been delivered and still in the doctors hands when the doctor wiped her face. As the doctor's palm moved over her eyes, those big blue eyes popped open and she immediately made eye contact with her Dad. He started talking to her and she never even cried. It was as if she knew who he was and was looking to him to tell her she was OK. The doctor gave her to Gary and he just talked to her and she blinked and listened. He said that was the beginning of him losing his heart to his girls.

Rachel married Chris Morgan on December 29, 2007. It was a beautiful wedding and they have had such adventures together ever since. Now they will begin one of the most exciting adventures together .... They are going to be parents on or about February 9, 2010! Gary and I are going to be Poppy and Yaya, unless Miss Mollie decides to call us something else. We all know that the power is really in the hands (or the mouth) of the first born grandchild. We are all so excited about the new gift coming soon - Especially Aunt Britney and Aunt Cari. Right now, Rachel is in Clarksville, TN near Ft. Campbell, KY teaching 8th grade and getting to know her new home. Chris is in Maryland at a school until October 8th- which by the way he is the lead officer in his class! We are all very proud and very confident that he will perform head and shoulders above the rest.

With this new chapter in our lives, Gary and I can't help but wonder if we have shared with our children everything we wanted to prepare them for this next step. I guess parenthood is a never ending story that we write each time we are with them.

Things Change...

This poem was written by an older lady in our church who just went to heaven. I thought it was worth sharing - I have a hard time trying to do things my way knowing that my Lord knows exactly what I need an when I need it. I like being reminded with a sweet poem that with the life lessons I tend to require.

Things Change

When you get to the end of your tether

And your energy seems to have gone,

When you’re weary and wondering whether

It’s worthwhile to keep struggling on.

When the fire has gone out of your spirit

And your armor has fallen apart,

Let go and let God do the fighting

Be still in your head and your heart.

When you get to the end of your courage

And there’s nothing much more you can do,

Try folding your hands for a moment

And letting God’s guidance get through.

Life can’t be altered by worry

Stop trying to push it your way.

Just let the good Lord take over.

You’ll find that things change when you pray.

By Adera Bradley

Cari's Eyes are Open!

If you have ever met our youngest daughter, Cari - then there is no doubt you have been kissed and hugged by her. She is the most loving and caring person I know. She loves walking in the woods with her dad and looking at the animals, trees, flowers, and anything else that will bring her a smile. Her life cup has alwasy been half full instead of half empty. Cari has always seen the world through "Cari colored glasses". By that I mean that she has always looked for the good in people and trusts everyone to love her as much as she loves them. She never meets a stranger and is just as loving and kind hearted to an acquaintance as she is her closest friends. I knew that one day, she would see the ugly in the the world and our little innocent wide-eyed Cari would be gone. I was sad thinking about that day.

I believe that day has come. She was in class listening intently to someone present their project before the class. She knew that person had put time into preparing and was very focused on giving her the attention she deserved. However, there were other students who were being very disrespectful and it made her mad. She wrote the following letter for her review to turn in the next day. I was very sad when I read it because I knew this was the day I had dreaded...but I was also very, very proud of her.

Enjoy.

Every person in the world at one point in their lives begins to see the world around them for what it is rather than what you were taught it should be. There is no longer a knight in shining armor ready to kill the monsters that lay wake in the shadows nor does it seem that there is a princess whom is meant to live happily ever after. It is all gone, taken almost, just when it begins to feel that the dream is merely beginning. When we grow up we begin to lose the hidden world within our minds of what we had once called home and in a way we begin to lose a part of ourselves. Childhood is the beginning of your life, it is where you start to explore, learn, create, but it is also a time when some of the most life changing lessons are taught. It is in childhood that you begin to grow up.
When you are a new born baby, still baring the ink mark on your foot, you learned that if you cried then someone would come take care of you. However when you began to grow you saw that you had to ask politely rather than demand it. When you got your first toy you understood that it was yours but as you grew up you knew that you were to share what you had with others. These simple lessons were still being taught to us as we entered the unknown world of middle school yet it is in high school that these lessons seem to fade. When did it become appropriate to say hurtful things about someone who is different from you or even treat others with disrespect just to look cool in front of a group of people that you will never see again after graduation? When did degrading yourself to please others take the place of doing what was right rather than what others say is cool? And just who are these “people” who dictate what is cool and what is not cool?
The lessons that we learned as kids do not stop merely because there is a certain clique that you want with all your heart to be included in nor when you are faced with decisions that will define your character. You feel all of those lessons and more but it is ultimately your choice to do what is right rather than what is easy. Yes, there will always be those whose main goal in life seems to be to ridicule and embarrass you. Those people that nothing you do is right and that you will never fit in but guess what? Saying ‘I was the most popular’ or ‘every guy wanted to be me’ as either an excuse or as a reason for your actions does not work in the real world. The real world does not care who you were in high school or even in college. What the world looks at is your character, you morals, your integrity, and how long and hard you will fight to define them rather than accepting defeat.
So, when you feel the urge to laugh at someone’s mistakes or even take your sick pleasure from their pain I want you to think about this before you even open your mouth…why am I about to attack this person? Does this show who I really am or who others tell me to be, and is what I’m going to say worth their pain? - Cari Raymond, Age 17.

Goodbye Uncle Harold

March 5, 2006

Dear Uncle Harold

As long as I can remember you have been my Uncle Harold – Literally. You were married to Aunt Norma before I was born. I remember being scared of you at first. Of course, at the time I was about 2 feet tall and it looked like you were 10 feet tall. The Uncle of my distant childhood doesn’t even resemble the man you are today. Your voice was gruff and loud, your step was hard and your brow was very often furrowed with that quick temper.

That man doesn’t even resemble the man you became when you said yes to Jesus. When you put off your old self and put on the new you, you gave Him your step, you gave Him your furrowed brow, and you gave Him your gruff voice. You also gave him your heart and your all. I remember the rejoicing in the family when you bowed that knee and surrendered your whole life. But no one celebrated more than the woman who was standing beside you, your bride. From that day on you became the man each one of us needed. If I were to ask you what you would like to be remembered best for – I know you would tell us – “Oh Baby, don’t remember me, remember Jesus in me!” What an awesome legacy to leave your family!

I don’t know if you understood just how important your hugs are to all of us. You were there when my dad left for Heaven – You were there for mom, for me, for Dana and for Jimmy. I remember especially after we left the hospital and returned to mom’s house. There you were – just his size, just his shape holding your arms out to me for a great big hug and asking me, “How are you doing baby?” And the most wonderful thing was that you really wanted to know just how I was doing – every single time you asked me. You have a gift of letting me know that you see me – really see me and care about me – every time you ask.

You gave me another gift that I will never forget. One of those gifts that mean so much to you that you save them in your heart forever. Sometimes I forget that others can get a bit overwhelmed, to say the least, at one of our family gatherings. Chris, my now son in law, was one of those new comers not so long ago. You did for him what you have done for so many others – You caught him by the shoulder, stuck out your hand and introduced yourself, “Harold Harvill, Who are you?” Then you listened intently to a young man in a room full of strangers and just as fast as that you were his safe place in a sea of new faces. You did that same thing for me when Gary was a new face in the crowd. It’s not a coincidence that people seek you out in a crowd – you are a safe place for so many of us.

Your legacy of kindness, compassion, selflessness, servant leadership and love will live on for generations. A friend of mine spoke this week about his own Dad leaving for Heaven. He said, “I’m on a new road today, But I’m ready because my Daddy taught me to drive and showed me how to read a map.”

Paula, Karen, Brett: Your Daddy taught you how to drive on this road you are on now….Drive as your Dad did – By that I mean live as your Dad did….Ephesians 5:1 & 2 reminds me of the way he lived, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” Walk in love every day – just as your dad did. He taught you how to love one another, how to love your spouses, how to love your children and grandchildren, but most of all, he taught you how to love your Lord. Continue this legacy of love. What a wonderful gift your Dad gave you and it’s a gift you are able to share with each one of us.

As for that map my friend referred to – You and I both know Uncle Harold’s map was his Bible. Pick it up every day – He showed us all where the answers come from and pointed us to the Savior whom he loved so much.

We love you Uncle Harold. It will be hard not having those long legs sticking out from under a chair or from behind a couch as you take your scheduled nap during our family gatherings. It will be hard not having your hug and hearing, “How are you doing Baby?” But I know where you are today and I know who you are with. So, we will hug one another like you taught us. And we will stop and ask, “How are you doing Baby?” and wait to hear the answer. And we will love on one another until we see you again.

We Miss You Already.

Hang In There!

My youngest daughter has a special way of dealing with hard times. She will take over my bathroom, light dozens of candles, run the bath tub full with bubbles, turn on a DVD (usually a cartoon) and soak her troubles away for hours. Yes, I said HOURS. With Gary being gone this week, and not getting to talk to him I just wanted to escape from those familiar thoughts that enter my mind at times like these. (Isn't it funny how we focus on what we are missing instead of rejoicing in what is right before our eyes!) I thought I would try Cari's prescription for trouble chasers. I didn't want to watch the Cartoon DVD, so I opted for a book. While thumbing through the book and enjoying the warm water and the bubbles, a card dropped out that I must have bought and used as a bookmark. I have to admit the message from the card was much better than the book. It was a cartoon monkey with "Hang In There" on the front. Inside the card read, "Sometimes hard times are good times that just take a little longer to ripen." and the verse "....God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 NIV.

At first, I was just amazed that God had had me buy that card, read that book, and leave that card in that book so I could find it today. It's amazing some of the ways He lets me know that He is near.

Then I couldn't help but think about the times we characterized our lives as hard times. Every instance I could recall, I also saw where God had taken something we thought was a "hard time" or a bad thing and made it something to bring Him Glory. He has such a better imagination than I do. I am glad our life isn't limited to my plans and date book. His plan has been so much better than I could have ever imagined - even in those hard times. Oh I don't want you to think that if I had seen in advance what we have walked through so far, that I would have just grabbed Gary's hand and said Come On. I wish I was that spiritual - But I don't see how we could be this close now without all we have shared together.

Thanks for listening to me ramble, but I just want to share the bottom line:

Girls (all of our girls): Keep your eyes on Jesus, no matter where you are or what you are going through. You can trust Christ completely. Bad things happen - we are in a fallen world and there is death, sickness, distruction, etc. We are not in the perfect Heaven and Earth, but we will be one day. But you can trust Him completely. Start every morning with HIM.

My married girls: Pray to Him and pray with him. Take everything to Jesus - keep in your mind the picture of Christ sitting at your breakfast table waiting with that cup of coffee to talk to you about your day. He is with you. Pray with him - pray with your husband. That is so important. And if you haven't started yet, just ask him. He may be waiting on you to just ask. Also pray for him - and pray for his wife!

To all of you....you can get through anything! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13

Dennis & Barbara Rainey Wisdom

I love this couple. They have taught me so much starting with books on raising our children and books on our marriage. If you have not found them, go to http://www.familylife.com/ and check them our for yourself. You can sign up for daily emails that are devotionals from a book called Moments With You. It is a couples devotional. Here is today's email - it is so simple yet so profound I just had to share it.

September 22
Loving Your Man by Barbara Rainey
The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.Proverbs 14:1

I often give three pieces of advice to young women before their wedding day. But because these remain just as important as we go through marriage and because they are fashioned by the Scriptures and proven by experience, I share them with you today--at whatever stage you find yourself in marriage:

Believe in your husband. This is the most valuable gift Dennis says I've given him. You know your husband better than anyone. To see his faults and weaknesses and yet to believe in your husband's God-given potential as a man and his leadership of your home does more than you can imagine for his spiritual growth.

Be willing to confront your husband in love. Too many wives mistakenly believe they are following the biblical pattern of submission by ignoring or denying deficits in their husband's life. But being submissive does not mean being silent. It simply means being wise and loving in how you approach him, treating him with kindness and respect. Say to your husband, "Could I talk to you about something?" Asking permission to broach a difficult subject may make it easier to get your message across. He is far less threatened and insecure this way.

Pursue intimacy with him on every level. Most men consider physical intimacy the most important part of marriage. I've come to learn that it is central to my husband's manhood. It's the way God made him, and it is good. So rather than resenting it, learn to appreciate this aspect of your marriage as God's design. And be willing to learn and grow, becoming God's woman for your man. It's not always easy, but with God, nothing is impossible.

Discuss Both of you should answer this one: Which one of these principles is most in need of your attention right now? Wives, what can you do to begin practicing love for your husbands in this area?

Pray Wives, thank the Lord for your man. And husbands, thank the Lord for your woman. Hold each other's hand and specifically thank God for things about one another.

As a side note, please try to see the movie "Fireproof". It starts this Friday and is going to be such a wonderful testimony of the gospel and of marriage. Please - also - look for churches who are going to have the Bible study to follow up on the movie. The church close to us is having a 6 week small group to follow up. Then, let me know what you think of the movie and of the Bible Study.

Love well!

Cari's Birthday!!!

I originally wrote this letter to Cari last year when she was turning 16 but it still applies. She is still so kind hearted and loving. I have really never met anyone like her.

We always make a big deal of the girls' 16th and usually have a "Counsel of Women" dinner for their 16th. But we were in NYC and we celebrated other ways. She got so many emails from loved ones. She still has them. We went to Phantom of the Opera and she went on a date with her dad.

The night of her 16th birthday we had Rachel and Chris who were in Auburn, on one cell phone on speaker - and one phone with Britney who was in Mobile - we were all singing Happy Birthday to her. Where there is a will....

This year Gary was out of town, but we got to eat dinner with Rachel and Chris who are only an hour away. This weekend, Britney is coming up and we are having family dinner together on Saturday to celebrate her birthday. Then we are watching the - yes believe it -- Auburn Game together. It is so wonderful to be together like this.

September 10, 2007

My Dearest Care Bear!

My goodness how time has flown by. You are my youngest baby girl and I have loved every minute of you. Well, let’s start at the beginning…The day you were born. September 10, 1991 – Wow what a year we had had and how wonderful of God to give us you as the best part of that year. Daddy had been in Saudi Arabia for Desert Storm, Memaw had gotten sick and gone to live with Jesus, Aunt Lori had gotten married to Uncle Ricky, we were about to move to Louisiana and here we were waiting on the next little Raymond Girl to be born. Daddy and I had to be at the hospital at 6:30am. The doctor said he would induce on your due date and that was September 10th. We went to Mobile Infirmary and waited for the doctor to come in. Without going into the gory details, he sent me home and said we would have to wait a few days. I was sad and started to cry.

Dad made it all better by taking me to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. We met Papaw there. Well, we had the Uncle Hershel’s Big Breakfast and you and I ate most of what we ordered! When daddy was paying the bill, I was shopping in the store and guess what happened?! My water broke! Right there in Cracker Barrel! Well, we called the doctor and they said to get back to the hospital. We weren’t gone too long because we went right back to the same room. It looked like we had just left for breakfast and came back to have a baby. Well, they hooked me up to the IV and on we went to work on holding you for the first time. That dream came true at 5:40 pm! You were beautiful – AND STILL ARE!

We immediately saw the resemblance to Daddy and to Memaw. What a gift you are! Dad picked you up and held you for the first time and said, "She even feels like my mom." His heart was so broken missing Memaw – and you were God’s gift to help him heal.

But I want you to know that you are so much to so many people. You are Rachel’s surrogate daughter. She was taking care of you at 5 years old! Not you 5, she was 5! She fed you and bathed you and rocked you. In her mind, I am sure I just birthed you but she was the mom. She would get so mad at anyone who hurt your feelings.

To Britney you are her little sister – she loves to aggravate, but she also loves to protect. She made sure you were taken care of in school and no one bothered you. Little does she know that you are her protector also. You protect her from being late, from forgetting her lunch, forgetting her to wash her clothes, forgetting to prepare for the next day. You have taken care of your big sister for a long time and she misses you terribly.

Last, but not least of all…You are also a wonderful gift to me. You have given me a gift of perspective. You see the sunshine through the clouds and always – the silver lining. Very few times in your 16 years with us have you said anything negative or even seen the negative in a situation. I see so much beauty through your eyes. Those birds aren’t screaming at my window in the mornings…they are singing! And fun can be found in the smallest of things like going to Walmart! Or watching the snow fall or planes fly! When I am sad or down, you have ALWAYS been a gift to me in a hug, a kiss, or a kind word. I cannot imagine what God has planned for you because your options are so wide. Cari you have such a gift for loving – the kind of unconditional love that Christ has – more than anyone I have ever met here on earth. I am so proud of you. I want to encourage you to keep seeking after Christ for the answers to life’s big questions – Who you will marry? What college to attend? What to study when you get there? He has a special purpose for your life and I can’t wait to see the rest of what God has planned. I love you and I am so very proud of the young lady you are today.

Love, Mom